I'll show you mine (Even if you don't show me yours)

I have very few physical scars. When I was 10 years old, I tried to use my bicycle to boost myself up into the apple tree in our yard. The bike slipped and I followed, scraping my shin on the chain, ripping a gash down to the bone. I still notice the mark it left every time I pull my socks on. It reminds me that new ideas need to be thought through. Then, when I was 29, I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy by Cesarean section. When I notice that scar, I am reminded of my sweet boy and all he's been to me in my life.

So basically, with just the two scars, I'm in pretty good shape. However, if you could look at me and see the scars of my emotional and spiritual life, I would be a hacked and bloodied mess.

I am a warrior. I don't actually remember signing up (I'm pretty sure I was drafted), but at a very early stage of life I found myself deeply embroiled in battle. The string of challenges has remained fairly unbroken. I can speculate and philosophize until the end of time about the how and why of ordinary human suffering. Some would say I attracted troubles to myself with my thoughts. Others would say it's karma, the fee for the piper's song that still reverberates from another lifetime. Some simply say, "That's life! Stuff happens because we're human and it's all a big ugly crap shoot."

I suppose if I had to try and answer the "why" of my own trials it would be a combination of those factors. Suffering is inherent in the human experience. I also can't deny the influence of time, place, and culture on my individual circumstances. And truthfully, I haven't always sowed seeds of peace and harmony, so it would stand to reason that at least a limited harvest of pain would crop up through the soil of my life by my own hand.

Don't get me wrong - I have been richly blessed and there have been many ecstatically happy times, too, but I'm just one of those people who seems to have met with my share of trials, and (I suspect) maybe even some that were intended for someone who just happened to look like me.

But I'm not unique. Not by a long shot. There are countless people all over the world and throughout time who are experiencing and have experienced everything that I've been through - and much worse. So why is it that when we are walking through the shadows that we feel so utterly alone, as though no one understands and that no help is near?

For one thing, when we are in pain, we become afraid, and that fear not only shuts us off from others who would offer help and encouragement, but it also blinds us to the good that remains, and it is that good that can fuel our will to fight our way through.

Yet there's another reason why we feel desolate in our suffering. It's because we are ashamed. We think our troubles are a reflection of our value, of our worth. After all, if we were smarter or more lovable, a better wife or mother, if we were more talented, or more favored by God, we would be sitting at the cool kid's table laughing and making plans for Saturday night, not sitting alone in a pool of our own tears.

The greater the pain, the greater the shame and the guilt, and the greater the loneliness and fear. And on and on it goes.

That's why I'm willing to show my scars. They don't make me unlovable or inferior. I am not ashamed of them. My scars are the badges of a life lived, of a spirit forged, of wisdom gained. I don't share them to garner pity or to aggrandize myself in any way. Quite simply, my beautiful scars are the evidence that healing has taken place. If I go through a trial and I come out on the other side alive, the scars I collect in the process tell the story of courage, faith, hope, and the grace of God. I know it's a story that someone else needs to hear.

Remember this: Regardless of what you see on TV and in the newspapers, not all human suffering ends in tragedy. In fact, more often than not, people are saved. Every moment of every day, we are snatched from the lion's jaw, pulled from the fiery furnace, rescued from the mouth of the whale and released from the grave. Our scars signify triumph.

Life prevails. Love saves. God heals. My scars are proof. So are yours.

Peace,
Julie
Julie is the co-author of the triple-decker novel "Iris & Lily."

Stay the Course

When we're facing difficult times - whether we are working to overcome adversity or to accomplish a cherished dream - it's important to see past today's pain and to keep the longview of hope. While things might not look great to us right now, we are on a path. As long as we act with faith and integrity, we can expect to one day find ourselves standing on the cusp of a brighter day.

A few years ago, my husband wrote this song and I recorded it. If you or someone you know is facing challenges, share this with them. Sometimes all you need is to know that you are on the right track and that there is always hope.

Listen to Stay the Course.


Stay the Course

I had a dream I was a starship driver
I met the man in the moon
He said to me, "I know you're cold and tired,
But there's still so much to do.
And I know sometimes, it seems you're out there on your own
But there's much more going on than you can see
You may believe in happenstance
But nothing happens just by chance
The right time and place is where you'll always be.

Just Stay the Course, you're on the right track
Trust in your heart, no, don't look back
Watch for the signs along the way
The road ahead leads to a brighter day."

I met a man on the way to somewhere
He had that look in his eye
I don't know how but I could tell he'd been there
Around the block once or twice
And he said, "You may not know me
From the man in the moon,
But I've a feeling you've got something on your mind.
You might think that it's absurd, but I'm giving you my word
What you're looking for won't be so hard to find."

Now I don't know what makes the world go 'round
The sky blue, the grass so green
And I don't understand serendipity
But I do believe that dreams come true
So if you're open to the clues
There's no end to the possibilities

Why I Write

Angela and Julie Scipioni, co-authors, Iris & Lily

Today’s post is part of a blog hop that I was invited to participate in by my colleague and friend, Robin Rushnell Taney, founder of Studio4PR.The objective is to write a post about why I write. I invited Angela Scipioni - my sister and co-author of Iris & Lily to share this post with me.



Here's what I have to say about why I write:

The first profound thing I ever remember writing was an entry in my diary when I was 13 years old. In that entry, I expounded at length upon the feelings I had for a young man who soon afterwards became my first boyfriend, in a romance that blossomed during the summer between eighth grade and high school. The diary itself was covered in faux leather - as much an imitation, or a maybe a shadow, of the real thing as the relationship was. The lock on the diary didn't work, as I remember. Either that, or I never bothered to lock it, having had an underdeveloped sense of privacy growing up. It's odd now that I think of it since my thoughts were one of the few things I could have kept for myself in my very large, very intrusive family. I wonder if I knew they couldn't see my mind without my permission.

At some point along the way, I went back to that entry of deeply detailed 13-year-old love/angst and scribbled over it in pen until I could no longer read what it said. I distinctly remember having gone back to read it and being repulsed by my own words, or maybe by the feelings they resurrected.

I suppose when I first made that entry, it was to express myself. And when I scratched it out, it was because my feelings had changed. Both were a diary entry in their own way - one a stake in the ground and the other a stake pulled up when it was time to move on.

My writing life - and my life-at-large - has since been marked by thoughts fervently expressed, left out unlocked, and then often obscured by a change in heart or mind, lost in the scribble of personal growth, or, God willing, wisdom.

So I guess I would say that I write to find out what I'm thinking about and how I'm feeling, to openly share that with others, and then to look back upon what I have written in an effort to understand how I, my thoughts, my feelings, or my life have changed.

I figure as long as there is always something I wish I could go back and scribble out, I am going in the right direction.

And here's what Angela had to say about why she writes:

Writing has been an integral part of my life, all of my life, but I’ve never given much thought to the question: Why do I write? I simply grew into it naturally, like I did as a child when I learned how to talk, or sing, or dance, or make music. Just as I cannot imagine remaining still and quiet my whole life, I cannot imagine a life without writing.  It’s an instrument I use to elaborate the thoughts and emotions and ideas bubbling up inside me, another channel through which to convey them beyond the limits of my being, where they wash over one another, ebbing and flowing with the pull of my mind’s tide. My writing is not driven by a compulsion to establish myself in terms of how great an audience I can attract, rather it is something I cannot help myself from doing. Just as I often dance alone, and sing alone for the pure joy of expression, I write alone.  All writers write alone. Except when they don’t.

I never would have guessed that my dream of one day writing a novel would be so spontaneously and irreversibly transformed into the reality of working nonstop for four years with another writer. But strange things can happen when you share a dream with a sister. A sister who also can’t imagine a life without writing, and singing, and dancing, and making music.  I venture to say that writing a novel together has been our greatest gift to one another. Through our passion for writing, we have turned a shared dream into reality: a 1400-page reality called Iris & Lily.  I feel blessed and amazed that we have been able to produce this novel together. I am awed by the power of writing. I have been profoundly changed by this process. While searching for my voice as a novelist, I have rediscovered a uniquely talented woman and friend. Our blood ties have been enriched and strengthened by a new sisterhood, a sisterhood which I extend to all our readers and fellow writers.

Write on, sister!


Angela and Julie Scipioni are co-authors of the novel Iris & Lily. Visit IrisandLilytheNovel.com to learn more. 

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And now, here are the next two people in the blog hop:

Wendy Shinyo Haylett is a freelance resume writer and career consultant, helping professionals and executives define, refine, and market their professional brand. She is also a Buddhist teacher and Minister, affiliated with The Bright Dawn Center of Oneness Buddhism. Her book, Living As Yourself: Being Not Becoming will be published later this year or early 2015. Visit Wendy on LinkedIn.

Robin L. Flanigan is a freelance journalist for magazines, newspapers, books and websites. She is working on a creative nonfiction book about love, loss and second chances, and lives in Rochester, NY, with her husband and daughter. Her website is www.thekineticpen.com and she blogs at www.thekineticpen.wordpress.com.